I wish i was a potato! is it possible?

I am so jealus of potatos! the brown odd shaped and have alot of eyes! and they live in the dirt thats a huge + and i hate seeing people eat them it makes me cry and i bite there thumbs off out of anger. so i sat down with my parents (who no longer have thumbs) and we decided it wud be best if i turned into a potato, so where do i got to get that done?